French Fry Diary 195: Red Lobster 2010

Everyone knows the real reason to go to Red Lobster. It's the bread things, the appetizer cheddar biscuits. At least now the folks at RL acknowledge this and are always on top of bringing more when your basket is empty. Unless you say otherwise, your basket will always be filled, and they even are cool about giving you a generous bag of them to take home afterward.

Now if only they would sell them in stores or to go. They could be rich. Bisquick has a biscuit mix that is similar (the Bisquick Complete Cheese Garlic Biscuits) and there are lots of copycats online, but nothing beats the originals. When you go to Red Lobster, don't forget the bread things.

My most recent trip to Red Lobster was for my dear friend Marni's birthday. Her birthday meal at Red Lobster has been a tradition for well over a decade, dating back to when the menu was completely different, except for the bread things. No matter, Marni and I are big fans of the bread things. She even brought me some when I was in the hospital after my kidney transplant - now that's a true friend.

Anyway, after emptying a couple baskets of bread things, like bringing a knife to a gunfight, I ordered a steak at a seafood restaurant. I ordered the steak mostly because of previous experience here (especially since they changed the menu). The RL folks find it impossible to deliver the maple chicken without the rice pilaf. It's like ordering a plain hamburger at Checkers - good luck.

Marni had told me about two items here she thought I would really like - the onion straws and the peach bourbon barbeque sauce. I got some onion straws on my steak. They were thin, lightly battered, and very good, just might have been better a bit crispier. It's too bad they are not officially on the menu as they are very good.

The current French fries at Red Lobster are natural cut shoestrings, a rarity but also very good when you can find them. I got a double order as I didn't want broccoli. I think it was a good choice. These were very good fries. I wish I could say the same about my raw steak, sooo not medium well. You can say I could have sent it back, but I'm paranoid and think it might have returned medium well, but also with an extra special seasoning as well.

The steak was saved however by the aforementioned peach bourbon barbeque sauce that came with Marni's scallops. This sauce had a very interesting taste, sweet and heavy on the peach, and managed to make the steak edible. Excellent for dipping with the fries as well. It should be noted it's also not on the menu. Maybe Red Lobster is working on its own secret menu a la In-N-Out Burger.

I was really kinda having a good time until the waitress spilled hot butter on my legs. I've been accused of being many things, but never a dead lobster. Hey, at least she didn't stand by while I choked like Winnie the Pooh did. Happy Birthday, Marni!