French Fry Diary 674: The So-Called KFC Rat

So it's happening again. Every once in a while, someone supposedly finds something in their fast food that is a deep fried something that shouldn't be there. Rarely is it true, usually it's a hoax, or an attempt to make money from a lawsuit. Check your Snopes to make sure. But always, always, these things go viral, and the powers that be, that don't like fast food, use it as a reason not to eat fast food.

Today, we have the rat from KFC. It's just a piece of chicken that may look like a rat, that's all. Just like clouds may look like Lady Gaga, I assure you, they are not Lady Gaga. KFC assures us this is not a rat, just as the man who got this chicken tender and posted it to Facebook will not come forward and let them (or anyone else) examine the 'rat.' It's just a tender with the shape of a rat. There's a reason that McNuggets are made in the same shapes all the time, and this is it.

This might also be the place to mention another ugly rumor. KFC is not KFC because they no longer serve chicken, but because of the Health Nazi stigma of the word 'fried.' They are still Kentucky Fried Chicken, as seen in the new commercials featuring Darrell Hammond as Colonel Sanders, and the less said about those commercials, the better...

So KFC is safe, they're not cooking rats. And furthermore, you should go to KFC today, and get some chicken tenders, and a side of fries too while you're at it.

French Fry Diary 566: Church's Chicken

Church's Chicken is the fourth largest chicken fast food chain after KFC, Chick-fil-A, and former partner Popeyes. They are currently often co-franchised with White Castle, which is what their fries most resemble. Most folks only know two things about Church's, and neither is very nice. One, that they are mostly located in lower class minority areas - not true, and two, that the Ku Klux Klan owns them and they are slowly poisoning minorities - also not true, Snopes even says so.

The Church's I visited was quite small, had a tiny eating area, and so I went through the drive-thru. There seemed to be much contention over my order, as if they didn't hear it, record it, or cook it. With only two customers inside eating, two employees working the store, and no one in the drive-thru but me, I had a good fifteen to twenty minute wait for just fries and a soda.

I ordered the large fry, not realizing how big large actually was. The large fry order is a whole box of them, making the previously thought $2.79 price actually a pretty fair bargain. The French fries themselves, as I said above, are much the same as at White Castle. These are standard crinkle cuts, deep fried, and quite probably had spent some time under a heat lamp for a while. The fries were a bit too crispy/crunchy for my tastes, but that might be because of their time in heat lamp prison. Because of that, reheating them at home later was just not possible either in the oven or microwave.

Also notable is the side menu at Church's that includes fried okra and mashed potatoes. Maybe next time. As I wrote this review in the car (because I went through the drive-thru), I have to mention that Church's mobile phone website is nigh impossible to navigate. Many details had to be filled in at home later. Someone needs to call IT.

This was not a great visit, perhaps a second chance is in order, but not for a while.