French Fry Diary 519: Plum Crazy Diner

Usually on the agenda for Sunday mornings with the Maryland in-laws is breakfast at Bob Evans. But just for a change of pace, we tried the Plum Crazy Diner in Westminster, a place our hosts had not been to in some time.

The outside has a very bright pop modern look but inside it's a pretty typical looking diner - only bright pink and purple on the outside. I really dug the sign near entrance that read: "If you are grouchy, irritable or just plain mean, there will be a $10 charge for putting up with you." Although, it should be noted, my mood that morning dictated I owed them at least twenty dollars, maybe more.  I'm not really a morning person.

I wasn't very hungry either, so I just ordered one piece of French toast, and of course, home fries. They were large diced natural cut potatoes, just warm, as if they'd been under a heat lamp rather than baked or deep-fried. The French toast wasn't bad at all, but like the potatoes, only just warm.

The brother-in-law as usual got his home fries well done. They looked the same except that they had probably been in the deep fryer for a flash fry. They looked well done, which they were, but also looked greasy, which they were not.

We pretty much all agreed the breakfast was at best mediocre, but like the night before, the company was good, so the food wasn't all that important. Maybe next time we'll come down for lunch or dinner, as the Plum Crazy's claim to fame seems to be steaks and shakes.

French Fry Diary 442: Ponzio's Preview

This is more of a review by proxy even though I did get to try some of the fries. So this is more of a Somebody Else's Fries than a proper review, however it's worth noting we'll be back at the end of the year. Ponzio's is where we will be getting together with our friends for the holidays.

It has been a very long time since I've been to Ponzio's, possibly since college, although I had been in their tiny bar once or twice since then. Much like Olga's Diner, Ponzio's is a South Jersey, and specifically Cherry Hill, landmark. It's been at the Ellisburg intersection, and before that the more recognizable Ellisburg Circle, just about forever. I have heard in recent years they had become much more classy and upscale.

After a recent high school reunion at the Coastline, The Bride and some of her friends visited Ponzio's. Thinking of me (and my obsession) as she almost always does, she got some fries, took some pictures and even brought some home for me. Does she love me, or what?

The Bride ordered the Bay Fries, specifically Johnny & Feef's Famous Bay Fries. I do however have to wonder how famous they really are, because they weren't Google-able. These pixie crinkle cuts, with Old Bay seasoning, and white cheese on the side, are startlingly similar to Chickie & Pete's Famous Crab Fries (which are for reals famous). I suppose that's why Ponzio's feels the need to put the words "Better Potatoes Better Seasoning Better Cheese Sauce" almost as if they know you're going to compare them to Chickie & Pete's anyway.

On that comparison, the only thing I can say is once home, while the Ponzio's fries did reheat well both by baking (the best way) and microwave, they were not as resilient as Chickie & Pete's. C & P reheat very well, great treat for the next day - these, not so much. I liked the Johnny & Feef's, but they are still a weaker imitation of the real thing.

I look foreword to our holiday visit to Ponzio's.

French Fry Diary 372: Mastoris

Recently a friend of The Bride's, and a Trenton local legend, Randy Now opened up his Man Cave & Consignment Shop up in Bordentown New Jersey. We, along with her parents, looking for a nice drive to get out of the house, attended the grand opening. Great place, wonderful stuff, and there was a rocking band there opening day. If you're in the area, definitely stop by, it's worth it.

Afterward, we were still up in the Trenton area and we had the munchies, so after much discussion (there are so many different places to eat), we decided to go to Mastoris. This place is legend among New Jersey diners, in fact, it is probably one of the most famous, and the classiest of the New Jersey diners. I had never been, so this was an experience. I have heard both good and bad about the place in my time on Earth so I was interested in finding out for real. I also wanted to try the, duh, what else, the French fries.

Mastoris is a landmark, a piece of history. In existence since the 1920s, it is both a fancy and homey diner with extra rooms for larger parties, fireplaces in each room, and some folks even have their wedding receptions there. And as if to secure your having dessert one way or another, you have to walk through their luscious bakery just to get to your seat. They hit you here or on the way out, you will get dessert. We got a nice table near one of the fireplaces and our waitress seemed very nice and eager to please, especially to prepare our food however we wanted it. Regular readers know that's a plus for me, the catastrophically picky eater.

I was stunned when the waitress handed out the menus however. It was huge. I kid you not, this was a twenty-page menu, plus a two-sided one sheet with today's specials on it. Lifting the menu was a workout. They have to have everything, or at least that's what one would think, based on the menu. I shudder to think what Chef Gordon Ramsey would say. Frequently on "Kitchen Nightmares," that's one of his pet peeves, and he always cuts the menu down to one sheet. Mastoris would probably give him a conniption.

One of the things that Mastoris is most famous for is their cheese bread, and to a lesser extent, their cinnamon bread. Like the restaurant itself, the cheese bread is a thing of legend. I am always hearing stories of folks who will drive for hours to get some of this bread, and then take some home with them as well, thanks in no part to walking out through the bakery, I'm sure. I couldn't wait to be served, especially with that kind of build up. Now I might be blasphemous saying this, but here I go. The cheese bread is good, no doubt, but as far as I'm concerned, the cinnamon bread is to die for. Keep your cheese bread, just leave the cinnamon bread for me, okay?

When my burger and fries arrived (Oh come on now, you knew that was what I was going to get, right? If not, you haven't been paying attention.) the first thing that hit me was the sheer size of it. The burger was gigantic. I had to cut it in half just to attempt to eat it. This is where Mastoris gets an A+ for portion size, with the burger. It was good hot, but not so much when just warm. Despite the size and look of the ginormous hamburger, I have to say, it was only just okay.

The French fries were steak fries, standard from the grocer's freezer and deep-fried. They were really good, as good as those kind of fries get, mind you, and I really would have liked to have had more, but. And this is a big but, so big, Sir Mix-a-Lot would be happy. The fries came in such a ridiculously small portion compared to the giant portions of everything else. Not as small as at Denny's last time, but still. Speaking of the big portions - on everything but the fries - we walked out with five Styrofoam containers, none of them containing fries.

Just so you don't think I'm being psychotic (well, not that psychotic) about the portion of the fries, it should be noted my father-in-law also got the steak fries, and there weren't enough for him either. The mashed potatoes were also quite good, although they weren't from my order.

On a side note, I thought the service was quite good, but my mother-in-law felt it was the worst service she'd ever gotten at Mastoris. She said that they were usually more attentive and personable. I was floored by this. Our waitress was twenty times nicer than at, say a Denny's or an Applebee's, but then again, I guess that says a lot, doesn't it? We must have gotten our waitress on a bad day, I'll have to go back. All in all, it was a good family afternoon dinner. Good times.

French Fry Diary 253: The Legendary Melrose Diner

Everyone of a certain age in the Philadelphia area knows the Melrose Diner. If not from living in the neighborhood and actually hanging out and eating there, then from the jingle that accompanied their radio commercials, "Everyone who knows, goes to Melrose..."

After one of the Philadelphia Wings games this past season, a group of us (The Bride, her sister, and friends Judi and Marc) wanted to grab a bite and talk. The Melrose was convenient, so we took in this historic landmark for some grub - including the favorite fried food.

The legendary Melrose Diner has a wonderful smell inside that fills you with joy as soon as you open the doors. It's the true scent of a good diner - pie and chocolate, nothing beats it. Our very helpful, friendly and entertaining waiter Nick took good care of us that night. It should also be noted that the tight booths of the Melrose are sooo not for larger folks. One would assume if you eat too much there, after a while you'll have to go somewhere else with bigger booths.

Marc was nice enough to let me get a photo of his fries and let me try some, so I ordered the home fries for myself, so I could get a double dose of the favorite fried food this trip. I couldn't convince anyone to order the onion rings though, maybe next time. The fries were old school crinkle cuts that tasted baked even though they were probably deep-fried. I could also see that the staff was making extensive use of a microwave in sight. It didn't matter, this was comfort food at its best in one of the area's greatest diners.

As I said, I ordered the home fries, or as Nick called them, the hash browns. These were shredded potatoes fried in what tasted like yummy bacon grease - the old fashioned way. They were really really good and I cleaned my plate. As an added bonus, they had crushed ice in the Cokes. Really, how can you lose? Good friends, good times, I'll be back to the Melrose.

French Fry Diary 248: The Oregon Diner

While New Jersey is principally known for its diners, the phenomenon does spread throughout the region, with some famous ones, and not so famous ones in the city of Philadelphia. One of those is the Oregon Diner. Friends Crystal, Anthony and frequent visitor Jeff used to live right around the corner, so this 24/7 diner became the default meeting and chatting place in the late night hours. Trust me, it wasn't about the food, it was about convenience.

Unless you get a booth, and tat's usually if you have for or more, you don't get seated up front, they put you in the back - most of the time, waaay in the back. It's a long walk for us, and it's a long walk for the waitress - so wrong orders, extra needs and soda and water refills? Looong wait. And that's if your waitress is even looking out for you or paying attention. If they get a hint that you're from Jersey rather than Philly, you'll never see her again. Nights at the Oregon Diner are not feasts of customer service.

For this reason, one tries to keep the orders very simple, and order lots of extra water at first, and hope for the best. This night, it just happened to be convenient, as our friends no longer live around there, but we still ended up there. As this was probably one of the last times I'd be there willingly, I decided to get a review out of it.

Jeff got a pizza burger, which came with fries. These were typical diner fries - regular cuts covered in Invisicoat, and only slightly warm, and deep-fried, at least once. The Bride got chicken croquets with mashed potatoes. They were warm, not creamy or stiff, and just barely warm. I had to wonder how long they had been in the kitchen. I got my usual late night breakfast diner default - home fries. They were sliced potatoes, some overdone, some barely cooked, and all just barely warm.

I am so glad we are done with this place. In a land of diners, this is one of the worst. Only Olga's could come close.

French Fry Diary 219: The Brooklyn Diner

Here's another installment of Somebody Else's Fries from The Bride. She recently attended a conference in fabulous New York City and as always, when dining where French fries were around, she pulled out her iPhone and snapped those fries.

The Brooklyn Diner is at Times Square and outside has all the shine and glitz of the city that never sleeps, but inside it's just a diner - a good diner a step above most, but looking like a standard Jersey diner.

The fries she had were very good, natural cuts typical of diners, but with an extra kick. From the picture I can see there's rosemary in there, but maybe a few other mystery herbs as well. The Bride said it was busy and the waitress didn't come by much so she couldn't ask. Can any regulars to the Brooklyn Diner let us know?

French Fry Diary 197: The Medport Diner

The Medport Diner is the pinnacle of the Jersey Diner experience. It's perfect for after a date, after a movie, a theatre show, a school event, a midnight movie, gaming, hanging with friends or just that late night diner run. Nothing beats the Medport Diner.

Nothing beats it even on the food level. Sometimes diner food is iffy, but the Medport is the king of diners, at least in this area. Their fries are natural cuts, a bit thicker than regular cuts, always hot and tasty. The onion rings are big, panko coated with lots of onion. The home fries are scalloped cut potatoes, well done, just like my mom used to make.

All come in big portions and usually come home with me for reheating later, which they do quite well. The Medport is so good that I have trouble deciding which to get. The Medport Diner has innumerable reviews online, its own Facebook page, even an Urban Dictionary entry, but sadly, no website. Still, it's always a fun experience. Recommended.

French Fry Diary 193: Oceano's Family Restaurant

This Berlin NJ restaurant was not my idea. From the outside it looks like a fancy place but once you're inside, you realize it's just a diner. I was here, twice now, for a family get-together. Nice to see folks I haven't seen in a while, but just wish it was at a different venue.

The service was pretty miserable. I wonder if they cared that thanks to our party they had about forty people in their otherwise deserted restaurant. For my meal I got a chopped steak, onions and fries. The steak was very good but the fries, freezer burned regular cuts were not. Some were overdone, some were underdone, hardly any were edible.

The highpoint of the Oceano's visit was the placemat, one of those typical diner thingies with ads from local businesses. One such ad promised a "free chair message". Truly the highlight.

French Fry Diary 144: Tacoma and the Plaza

For today's Somebody Else's Fries, here are two pics from my friends Crystal and Jeff.

The first one is of some tasty looking regular cuts from an unknown restaurant/bar in Tacoma Washington. They appear to be batter-fried or invisicoated and sprinkled lightly with Parmesan, and maybe garlic (Jeff couldn't remember, but it's cool, just look at those fries).

Our second Somebody Else's Fries aren't even fries at all, but everyone's second favorite side dish, onion rings. This photo was taken at the Diner at the Plaza on Snyder Avenue in Philadelphia. These thin crispy onion rings just look so perfect and delicious.

Crystal says, "That was my dinner... Pork maybe? Or steak? Whichever it was, they were like the lightest shoestring onion slices fried and garnished..."

I'll have to get over there and try them sometime...

French Fry Diary 128: Sage Diner for Breakfast

The Sage Diner Restaurant in Mount Laurel NJ has been a landmark on Route 73 for over twenty years. It might not have the history of some or be open 24/7 like most, but it is part of the long tradition of Jersey diners. Occasionally the family will get together for breakfast at the Sage, and this time I decided to write it up.

First things first, they seem to be completely incapable of not making bacon any way other than well done. And by well done, I mean little strips of brown charcoal. But, we're not here to discuss the bacon, we're here for the favorite fried food, and in the morning, it's home fries.

The home fries at the Sage Diner are scalloped and chopped up potatoes, interestingly, some with skins. Many places don't do that and it adds to the presentation a bit. They were not seasoned however, and they arrived at the table just barely warm. The potatoey bits were decent but the crispy ones were as crunchy as the bacon. Cook's day off maybe?

This was very disappointing as I have had good breakfast potatoes here before. In hindsight, on previous trips with good potatoes it was not during business hours so perhaps they were cooked fresh then. After this experience I suspect that these home fries were cooked much earlier, kept under a heat lamp and dispensed throughout the morning. Boo hiss.

As I didn't eat most of my serving I took it home. Much later, reheated and seasoned they weren't bad. I guess, just like Charlie Brown's Christmas tree, they just needed a little bit of tender loving care. Or to be finished being cooked, and seasoned...

French Fry Diary 125: Ciconte's Italia Pizzeria, Marlton NJ

Usually when it comes to ordering pizza or steak sandwiches locally we do Sal's Pizzaworks, but this time we took the suggestion of a houseguest and tried Ciconte's Italia Pizzeria, also here in Marlton.

The steak sandwiches were great, although a little help seemed to be required to get orders correct, but for the most part, the food was very, very good. The calzones especially got an enthusiastic thumbs up.

The fries were regular cuts, deep fried, not greasy, and a bit cold. That last bit may have been due to them having been delivered, but that's the way the French fry crumbles.

All in all, this was a standard Italian pizzeria experience, better than usual, and a good alternative to Sal's.

French Fry Diary 116: Harvest Diner

Dinering is a way of life in New Jersey. You go out for an evening and then afterwards you meet your friends at ‘the diner,’ of which there are several dozen within spitting distance. It was just such an occasion that brought me to the Harvest Diner on Route 130 in Cinnaminson NJ.

Typically my late night potato of choice is the breakfast type. For those outside the Jersey area, late night at the diner is usually time for breakfast, as it is almost morning, and most diners have a 24/7 breakfast menu. And come on, who doesn’t dig pancakes at three in the morning?

That said, the breakfast potatoes at the Harvest are abysmal, quite possibly the worst I have ever had. They were messy, greasy, and cold – not a good combination. And before you ask, no, I didn’t send them back. It’s always a bad idea to send something back in a Jersey diner as you will most certainly get a little something extra in your food, be it from the floor or some bodily function, trust me, either way you will not like it.

The steak fries that accompany most sandwiches and burgers at the Harvest are another story altogether. While these are definitely grocer’s freezer steak fries and deep-fried, there are always good. It’s hard to mess up steak fries, and these are tasty.

To sum up the Harvest Diner, it’s a nice place, a family place and great to hang out after hours, but stay away from the breakfast potatoes.

French Fry Diary 112: Sal’s Pizzaworks

Sal’s Pizzaworks is a local pizza place we order from a lot in Marlton NJ. Great steak sandwiches and Panzarottis. We always get fries with them, well, you have to, how can you not, really? They just go together. Any order we make, we always get fries.

Sal’s has consistently good regular cuts, like the kind you can buy at the supermarket, and deep-fried. Now there’s nothing wrong with that, because they are always good. They know how to make fries. Simple doesn’t count against you, especially if they’re good.

As we always order in or pick-up, the fries always come in those tin pie plate diner thingies. They’re ideal to pop in the oven to reheat (take off the plastic cover first!), which these fries do quite well. The servings are substantial so there is always enough for a snack later.

Sal’s also has onion rings, sadly also from the grocers’ freezer but without the care given the fries. They’re not horrible, but they’re not great either. They are better than Burger King’s, which is saying something. And the onion rings are terrific if added to a Sal’s burger or steak sandwich.

Sal’s Pizzaworks – simple but substantial – recommended.

French Fry Diary 91: 6ix A Bistro, Bally’s Atlantic City

The thing that I will never ever figure out about casinos is that they are, at least the gambling part, open 24/7, but the restaurants are only open for small windows here and there during the day. So when The Bride wants to hit the casinos, usually late at night, I, the non-gambler, am either left twiddling my thumbs for the night or eating at the last-choice-possible-café.

One such eating establishment, unless I wanted to walk the mile to the Boardwalk, is called, oddly I might add, 6ix A Bistro, and it’s at Bally’s. Like most sit-down restaurants at the casinos they strive to look a bit more upscale than your average diner yet barely manage to do so with their food. The potato and side selections relevant to this blog are no exceptions.

When the favorite fried food came to the table I was surprised by the presentation, but little else. The 6ix fries were natural cut shoestrings served in a wide paper cone. Portion size gets high points but the Invisicoat ruins the rest. They taste only meh and are suitably crispy but little else to talk about. These could have been really good were it not for the wretched Invisicoat. And the choice of Pepsi over Coke didn’t help.

Their onion rings were huge slices of onion, beer-battered and looking a tad greasy. But the truth was worse. They were much greasier than they looked and nowhere near as crispy as they looked. Another sad side serving at 6ix. The waiter who was incredulous at me for ordering both fries and rings might have gotten a bigger tip had he mentioned the portion size and asked if I was sure that’s what I wanted – but he didn’t. Maybe it was a bad night, or maybe he was just rude. Hope he enjoyed his appropriate tip.

A return visit in the morning hours (same problem as during the late night – how about a good twenty-four hour eatery at a twenty-four hour casino?) gave me a chance to sample their home fries, which actually looked quite good. They were scalloped potatoes sliced very thin, with some onion, scallion and bits of green.

I was delighted when these were served as they had the potential to be near-perfect breakfast potatoes. One forkful however was all it took to find the truth. They were soggy, undercooked and greasy. Had they been crispy, well done or even deep-fried they would have been perfect, but I was told they don’t do that. Well, I didn’t eat them. Shame.

Pretty much low marks all around for 6ix A Bistro at Bally’s. This is mediocre diner food at best, and just awful crap at worst. The appearance of the place is nice, but the food is just not good. Avoid at all costs.

French Fry Diary 43: Deep Fried Breakfast Potatoes

One thing I have noticed of late at diners is a trend toward deep frying breakfast potatoes. If you ask for them well done or extra crispy – the first question from the waitress will be "Would you like them deep-fried?" or "Should we drop them in the deep fryer?" To me, for the most part, it seems a bit extreme.

Of course it also depends on what you mean by breakfast potatoes. Are you talking home fries or hash browns and what form do they take? Shredded deep-fried is a bad idea – I mean, really, just burn some potato sticks if that’s the kind of crunch-fest you’re looking for. A hash brown, similar to the McDonald’s standard, could go in the fryer briefly, but not much longer in my opinion.

Now breakfast potatoes in the diced style or sliced style, that would probably work. Myself at home, I’ve done this with both the frozen varieties of these as well as the fresh cuts, and these come out quite tasty. Again, it’s a matter of how long you leave them in the hot oil.

I’ve never had them done this way at a diner or similar restaurant, but I guess it’s worth a try. We’ll see.