French Fry Diary 552: Dunkin' Donuts Hash Browns 2014

On a recent episode of The GAR! Podcast, my partner Ray Cornwall espoused the virtues of Dunkin' Donuts Hash Browns. You can hear that episode here. I knew I had reviewed them once, and talked about them again a year later, and was more than unimpressed. Ray raved about them, so I felt it might be time to try them again.

Despite Ray's description of them as UFOs and flat pancakes (not necessarily incorrect or accurate either), I knew as soon as I saw them, these were the same hash brown discs I had tried years ago. These hash browns are inch wide, quarter inch high discs of shaped potato bits, similar to the offerings at, as I've said before, Burger King and Chick-fil-A.

When I saw them pulled from a drawer where they had been kept since a first deep fry, then put into a quick bake oven, I shuddered. This was not going to be pretty. They put them in a bag this time rather than a cup, but they still stuck together in a nasty greasy way.

These hash brown-ettes do have an herbal spicy kick (I'm still betting on Mrs. Dash), but that's not enough to recommend them. I imagine they might be good if they were hot and not so greasy, but I get the feeling they cannot be found thus. Sounds like Ray might have found that one percent occurrence.

French Fry Diary 45: Hash Browns Should Be Hot…

Hash browns should be hot, and parents should watch out for their children, but this is ridiculous.

Robin MacLeod is suing Dunkin’ Donuts because she allowed her toddler to eat a hot hash brown that supposedly burned and scarred him. Yeah, if you’re having a McDonald’s hot coffee flashback, you’re right on track. She’s suing for $200,000.

MacLeod claimed that the hash brown was only lukewarm but when the child broke open the snack, it was burning hot inside and dropped it onto his neck.

Is it just me, or if you got ‘lukewarm’ hash browns, wouldn’t you ask for hot ones? Hey, rocket scientist, they are supposed to be hot. And why are you letting your fifteen month old feed himself while you are driving anyway?

Hash browns should be hot.

French Fry Diary 03: Dunkin' Donuts Hash Browns

Dunkin' Donuts has entered the potato arena recently with their new hash browns. Notably I couldn't find any photos online of their hash browns thus the corporate logo at the left, but there is a quick snippet of what they look like at their website.

Now when I went off to the local Dunkin' Donuts to try their new hash browns it occurred to me that I had not been to one since I worked in cubical hell several years back when getting coffee and donuts for everyone is a survival tactic. When I got inside I remembered that, for DD, customer service is job one, ahem, hundred. I really have to wonder: are the words 'miserable, unintelligible and rude' job requirements for this company? The two men and one woman working the counter looked and spoke as if they would have rather lost a limb each than have to deal with anyone else in the store.

I was first struck by the wonderful menu over the counter which was incomplete and out of order, and which the man who served me took great delight in correcting for me rudely. He also noted that "no one ever looks up there, they just order" or at least I think that's what he said. The menu however gave for a price the words "Remove and insert price" and then underneath it gave prices for a single, a half-dozen and a dozen. I get it now, but the word "donuts" which should have between Hash browns and the quantities was missing. But then again, "no one ever looks up there."

The hash browns themselves come nine-count and are stuffed into a small cup, and I do mean stuffed, so hard that you end up getting mashed potatoes at the bottom rather than hash browns. The most amusing thing about this cup is the warning on it: Caution: Contents can be hot. Can be? That's really not as decisive as 'may be' is it? Let's hope today is a hot day, shall we?

The hash browns themselves are pretty much the same mutant mini-hockey pucks you get at Burger King or Chick-Fil-A that make eating breakfast at those places so unappetizing at times. These do have an extra little kick though, nothing to write home about, probably some store brand version of Mrs. Dash, and certainly nothing to make these things more edible.

They claim they are oven toasted, which is half-right. Yes, I watched my favorite customer service specialist at DD scrape them out of a jar and put them on a pan and into an oven for about sixty seconds. But before that, they were most certainly par-fried and probably deep-fried once more before being ready for that oven toasting.

This was not a good potato experience. Stay away from these things unless you absolutely have to.